Pre-Cana, Part 1

Since we are getting married in the Catholic Church, it is mandatory that Paul and I attend pre-cana classes. The standard definition of pre-cana (well according to Wikipedia) -

"Pre-Cana is a course or consultation Catholic couples must undergo before they can be married in a Catholic church. The name is derived from John 2:1-12, the wedding feast at Cana in Galilee, where Jesus performed the miracle of turning water into wine.

Approaches to Pre-Cana vary among Catholic dioceses and parishes. Often six weekly sessions will be led by a priest or deacon with support from a married Catholic couple. Common topic include: compatibility of the couple, basic principles of Catholic marriage and family life (namely theological meaning of marriage), conflict resolution within marriage, rules the couple is accepting to follow (including, but not limited to, natural family planning)."

The Camden Diocese's approach has a few options. Paul and I decided to sign up for 2 pre-cana classes on varying weekends. My travel schedule for work didn't allow any of the other options.

Our first class was a Friday night. We had to drive to Marmora (near Ocean City, NJ) for this class. Oh how Paul was dreading this pre-cana class!

There were @ 25-30 couples total in attendance. After a brief welcome session, we were broken into small groups of 5 couples each. In our small group, we were the only couple that did not meet in high school or college - which should speak to the average age of the couples in our class. Our small group leaders were a couple close to our ages who was quite fun. They asked us to talk a bit about ourselves, our upcoming wedding, and how we met.

We then went back to the main room to listen to a talk on Communication. After we broke up in small groups again to fill out a worksheet. Paul and I each had to circle words that describe our partner. Many of the words were similar, and some really made us laugh. Especially the words used to describe me!

After we went back to our main room to listen to a talk on Finances. It actually wasn't just on finances, but that was the topic of the worksheet. Overall this was the biggest wake up call for Paul and I. Since we are blending households and incomes from professionals who have worked for over 10 years, our issues are not the same as younger couples. The question that made me think the most was..."I can spend xxx amount without consulting my partner...." Of course Paul and I had very different answers. I've never thought about needing to discuss spending before and now I do. Definitely gave me something to think about!

After this we listened to a few more talks and wrapped up in about 3.5 hours. Although we went home a bit tired, especially after the long drive back, overall, I thought it was a good opportunity to talk about some topics that we haven't discussed before.

One class left which takes place in June....for 6 hours! More on that later.....